I feel like I spend my days building routine into our lives, only to have situations arise that throw everything off kilter again. I’m sure moms of littles can relate. Babies and toddlers by definition destroy order and routine. Every moment with them is a surprise.
However, my youngest has grown out of that stage. Life should be regulating; we should be settling into a pleasant flow. We’re not. This summer and fall the level of chaos has exploded, starting with Tech’s accident in May. Not that all the chaos has been bad; we’ve had four family weddings, including Tech’s in October. Balancing a child in the Midwest with family in the South, as well as homeschooling and ministry at home, outdistances my organizational abilities.
I’m a list and planner kind of girl, but I don’t have a list and planning kind of life. I learned years ago that my days don’t always follow my to do list and accepted it. Lately, I’ve experienced a whole new grade of disorder. And I’m having to learn a new way to cope.
Last week was a perfect example. Sunday, I meticulously planned school, chores, and writing time. Monday flowed. I went to bed 2000 steps above my goal and feeling accomplished. Tuesday, I overslept. Then a ministry need arose. My morning, which was supposed to be spent homeschooling and packing for a trip, fell apart. Instead of freaking out, I went to the Lord. Clearly, he had plans for my day that weren’t on my to do list.
Proverbs 16:1 states, “We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.” I’ve come to view my plans as suggestions rather than decrees carved in stone. Some days they work out, others they don’t. When they don’t work out, I ask the Lord, “Okay, what is the plan today?”
Other days, chores and projects outweigh the number of hours available. Everything seems equally important, and I don’t know where to begin. Those times my prayer is, “Help me order my day.” The Spirit brings me peace and shows me where to focus my energy. The funny thing is, on those days, I find I complete more tasks than I thought I would.
As I get older, I rely less on my own abilities and more on the strength and direction of God. I recognize more and more my dependency on him. He’s the one who can create order in my chaos.